For your 1/350 scale set up, I would use a single length of wire right from aircraft to aircraft. I would slide the refueling basket along the wire to where it would be when refueling, form one end of the wire to represent the fueling probe and the other end to represent the flying boom, adding wings etc to the wire. I'm trying to imagine the actual size of the model aircraft though !
For the 1/144 set up, I would gut the F-14's of everything that isn't needed to lighten it as much as possible, but I don't think you could use the same process as above. I used to have my 1/72 Victor displayed refueling a Sea Vixen, I used a length of styrene coated wire which was quite stiff and didn't bend very easily, but the Sea Vixen still had to be supported by itself. In the pic below, they've come un-attached but you can make out how I formed the wire to bend like a hose might (sorry about the pic quality though)