Author Topic: Non-lethal Midway Battle  (Read 15775 times)

Offline Tophe

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Non-lethal Midway Battle
« on: November 16, 2014, 05:08:33 PM »
My references are the sources:
Middway film : J.Smith, Universal, 1976
La bayaille aéronavale de Midway : B.Millot, Larivière, 1979
The battle of Midway Island : T.Taylor, Avon Books, 1981
La bataille de Midway: M.Hérubel, Cité, 1985

All of them failed completely to explain why the superior Zero fighters failed to shoot down the old Dauntless, that destroyed all Japanese carriers.
So I tell you the secret (72 years later, the secet is over). Airplanes are not machines but birds, and when the fast male Zeros found the slow sexy Dauntelsses, they f... loved them and the happy couples landed on desert islands, the Japanese admirals were so ashamed that they sank their own ships:
« Last Edit: November 16, 2014, 05:13:53 PM by Tophe »

Offline mrvr6

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Re: Non-lethal Midway Battle
« Reply #1 on: November 16, 2014, 06:06:02 PM »
i think hes finally lost it   :o

Offline finsrin

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Re: Non-lethal Midway Battle
« Reply #2 on: November 16, 2014, 06:11:26 PM »
i think hes finally lost it   :o

Yup  :o

Offline Tophe

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Re: Non-lethal Midway Battle
« Reply #3 on: November 16, 2014, 06:40:13 PM »
We may discuss of "the story end" after, but I must explain the beginning first: before bestial physical love, there was a romantic danse, this was not rape at all but tenderness...

Offline finsrin

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Re: Non-lethal Midway Battle
« Reply #4 on: November 16, 2014, 07:13:14 PM »
After years of seeing things in asymmetric double....... well, ya know what i'm gittin at.

Offline Tophe

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Re: Non-lethal Midway Battle
« Reply #5 on: November 16, 2014, 11:20:19 PM »
i think hes finally lost it   :o
Sorry, I did not mention sexual precise details. Of course, a rotating propeller is painful in the ass rear, but that was just the step of removing tail cloths, before the act/union. See? And this is Historical Fact now...
[

Offline Brian da Basher

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Re: Non-lethal Midway Battle
« Reply #6 on: November 16, 2014, 11:22:21 PM »
I'm beginning to wonder if we should dim the lights and put on a little "mood music"...

Thank you for yet another delightful post which yet again showcases your limitless imagination, Tophe!

Brian da Basher

Offline Tophe

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Re: Non-lethal Midway Battle
« Reply #7 on: November 17, 2014, 12:05:22 AM »
Thanks!
Well, I was a little wrong saying airplanes are all bestial animals, some of them are pure angels, with the same peaceful results. See this couple arm in arm tenderly, without even exchanging a kiss on the cheek...:

Offline Kerick

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Re: Non-lethal Midway Battle
« Reply #8 on: November 17, 2014, 01:06:45 AM »
I think it could turn into a Romeo and Juliet sort of thing. Waring families and stuff.

Offline Tophe

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Re: Non-lethal Midway Battle
« Reply #9 on: November 17, 2014, 03:38:55 PM »
Yes, you are very right: Romeobishi and Juliettelas were the closest couple, so much in love... :-* :-*

Offline Tophe

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Re: Non-lethal Midway Battle
« Reply #10 on: November 17, 2014, 04:05:29 PM »
The next generation, nicknamed Zerontless, were twin brothers and sisters.
This was too much for generals, who commited suicide in Hiroshima/Nagasaki/SanFrancisco/LosAngeles, and the war was over ;) ("make love not war")
« Last Edit: November 17, 2014, 08:51:36 PM by Tophe »

Offline Kerick

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Re: Non-lethal Midway Battle
« Reply #11 on: November 18, 2014, 04:04:46 AM »
What if this spread to Europe? (I know, I'm just encouraging him.)

Offline Tophe

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Re: Non-lethal Midway Battle
« Reply #12 on: November 18, 2014, 03:39:29 PM »
Yes and no, kerick:
- The Spitifires and Bf-109 waere fighting ferocious batlles over Europe
- So the US and Japanese generals imported copies to fight just the same. Alas... the quiet Pacific ocean with its delicious sunsets and palmtrees was too romantic and US-Spitfires (F14D1) and Japanese Messerschmitt (Ki-109) fell in love just the same, flying tenderly cheek to cheek.
Admirals and general committed suicide in 1944 so, not immediately after the Midway peace...
« Last Edit: November 18, 2014, 03:41:25 PM by Tophe »

Offline Brian da Basher

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Re: Non-lethal Midway Battle
« Reply #13 on: November 19, 2014, 08:00:52 AM »
Ahhh the sweet romance of flight!

Well done, mon ami!

Brian da Basher

Offline Tophe

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Re: Non-lethal Midway Battle
« Reply #14 on: November 22, 2014, 03:27:03 PM »
Apart of romance in the sky, another aspect involved peaceful flights at the Midway battle: on the airport of Midway island were stored rejected prototypes without any weapon, and they flew short distance useless reco flights.
For instance the rejected Lockheed Ligntnings for US Navy: F38L1, F38L2, F38L3 (with the Navy requirement: "only one engine, radial, not pusher"):

Offline Tophe

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Re: Non-lethal Midway Battle
« Reply #15 on: November 22, 2014, 04:48:53 PM »
The Marine-Lightnings F38L4, 5, 6, flew also from the Midway island without a single bullet...

Offline Tophe

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Re: Non-lethal Midway Battle
« Reply #16 on: November 23, 2014, 01:02:47 AM »
And the last useless Lightning prototypes on the poor Midway island were the F38L7, 8, 9:

Offline Tophe

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Re: Non-lethal Midway Battle
« Reply #17 on: November 23, 2014, 11:37:50 PM »
Not unlike the Lockheed F38L9... Aboard the Zuikaku Japanese carrier, the admiral requested the Zero fighters to be changed with a Zero-shaped wing: no gun, no kill, no ugliness... He lost his admiral status soon after.

Offline Tophe

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Re: Non-lethal Midway Battle
« Reply #18 on: November 26, 2014, 03:45:34 PM »
Another interpretation of the Zero-kill result of the Midway battle came from the Historian Tophujima Tophamoto: the airplanes aboard the carriers in 1942 were not war machines but funny toys (eggplanes). This is not confirmed though:

Offline Tophe

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Re: Non-lethal Midway Battle
« Reply #19 on: November 26, 2014, 09:18:31 PM »
Another description of the same gave even shorter lenghths:

Offline Tophe

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Re: Non-lethal Midway Battle
« Reply #20 on: November 27, 2014, 01:56:15 AM »
Another explanation of the zero-kill Midway battle came from the French historian Tophe T. Toff, who considered this was not a military battle but a beauty contest: that would explain the parade flight of twin-boom Zero and Dauntless, reported by many witnesses and unexplained by all other historians...

Offline Tophe

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Re: Non-lethal Midway Battle
« Reply #21 on: November 27, 2014, 03:38:01 PM »
It is well known that the twin-boom Dauntless won over the twin-boom Zero (above), while the asymmetric Zero won over the asymmetric Dauntless (below), but I have no idea which third competition made the US queens of the seas. ???

Offline Tophe

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Re: Non-lethal Midway Battle
« Reply #22 on: November 29, 2014, 12:32:38 AM »
After deep bibliographic/technical search, I have found the third decisive competition in the Midway Beauty Contest ("Battle"): the light-flying-boat part. I prefer the Japanese twin-hull way but the final decision was the victory of USA:

Offline Tophe

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Re: Non-lethal Midway Battle
« Reply #23 on: December 05, 2014, 12:46:00 AM »
Apart of the beauty contest, the intended conclusion was the friendly meeting over Midway island of a Zero glider launched over Tokyo and a Dauntless glider launched over Los Angeles (alas, they failed to reach the necessary distance):

Offline Tophe

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Re: Non-lethal Midway Battle
« Reply #24 on: December 05, 2014, 01:00:50 AM »
At last, the stratospheric Twin-Zero glider and Twin-Dauntless glider made it! That is why the Midway episode was claimed as a victory by both USA and Japan: