The custom broom cult is almost as old as the craft itself and broom personalisation has always been actively encouraged among the younger hags of the coven. Today though, and much to the dismay of the old order, it’s all technomancy, short skirts and black eyeliner and since “the incident” the movement has been getting further and further away from the more traditional besom based arts … it even has its own magazine!
It all began of course at the 2017 All Hallows Eve custom broom show where the now infamous Miss Shock De Phuk (pronounced Deepuck), unveiled and posed with her Hex 1 Draco broom. It caused a sensation and even appeared as the centre spread of the October edition of street broom.
Shock had been on something of a mission as the previous year Phantasia Camshaft-prism, princess of the divine sprocket and mistress of the thing that nobody cares to remember, took first place at the All Hallows Eve custom broom show. Phantasia’s tricked out double over head besom and mystery paint job just blew everyone away … except for Shock who was too busy having an envy melt down.
Shock was very good at envy. She had a jealousy PHD with associated honours in relentless discontent in others achievements and luck. At the time she had been very proud of how she handled this episode. Her summoning of the green eyed monster was right on the mark but she may have gone a tad over the top with the Phytoplasma. Not one broom in 50 miles, including her own, got away without infection.
Anyway, this year things were going to be different. Screw besom based technology she was done with all that. Honestly, who really wants to zip about on a domestic cleaning implement? They are notoriously unreliable, quirky and let’s face it; a girl just doesn’t need those splinters.
It was time to leave the past behind and get with the 21st century. After all, her phase inverted hunting dildo had gone down a storm with the coven. No, she was going to usher in a new era at the show this year and some of those witch’s were going to get burned!
Having started her own company, Coven Customisations, Miss De Phuk regularly produces award winning designs the latest of which is her serpentine- turbojet based stick “Snakey” featured in this month’s Full Moon Ryder magazine.
