While the
1969 Football War between El Salvador and Honduras is legendary among airplane modelers, utterly forgotten today is the conflict which presaged it, the 1936 Fooseball War.
The conflict was the result of long-simmering tensions between two small South American nations, Not-a-mala and No Way-aguay.
Things would come to a head when these two countries faced off in the Championship Final of the Copa de Fooseball.
The lid blew off when a controversial ruling went against Not-a-mala.
The Not-a-malan national team along with their many fellow countrymen in the stands marched out as one yelling, "This means war!"
This would also mean profit to an arms maker who was devious enough to supply weapons to both sides, the 2 Faced Bros.
Along with your run-of-the-mill rifles, machine guns, mortars, cannons and chlorine gas, 2 Faced Bros. also sold two fighter-bomber aircraft which were remarkably advanced for the time, the 2FBFB2-1 & 2FBFB2-2.
The 2FBFB2-2 biplane was the high-end model, much in demand.
The 2FBFB2-1 was the simpler, less-advanced monoplane with the budget-conscious in mind.
As No Way-aguay was a poor country, they could not afford the expense of the biplane's extra wing and were forced to buy the bare-bones monoplane variant.
#39 is a good example of the No Way-aguayan 2FBFB2-1s in the standard protective and, dare I say, sexy all-gray scheme. Why this aircraft was numbered 39 when No Way-aguay could only afford five of the things remains a mystery unsolved by scholars of this forgotten conflict.
Not-a-mala, having grown wealthy due to a rich trade in guar gum, was able to purchase two full squadrons of the cutting-edge, highly maneuverable 2FBFB2-2 biplane. Not only was the 2FBFB2-2 incredibly fast and able to out-turn anything else around, it had a long range for the type and was able to carry a 500 kilo bomb load along with its two, wing-mounted machine guns.
At noon on September 31st, a flight of Not-a-malan 2FBFB2-2 biplanes took off on a mission over No Way-aguay's capital, São No Wayo.
Three of these attackers were forced to abort due to mechanical problems and two others cut and ran at the sight of No Way-aguayan 2FBFB2-1 monoplanes rising to meet them.
The remaining Not-a-malan 2FBFB2-2 biplane completed its mission, but dropped propaganda leaflets instead of bombs. The pilot, one Capitán de Vuelo de los Capistrano, was awarded the Not-a-malan Cross of Apathy, the highest award for valor in that forbidding land.
The leaflets eventually became traded as an underground currency due to their usefulness as toilet paper since they were softer and more absorbent than the local money, the No Way-aguayan
Nada. Eventually one small leaflet cost four
Nadas.
Inflation like this could not be permitted to continue and the economy in neighboring Not-a-mala was little better. Eventually both sides returned to the bargaining table and hostilities ceased before the end of the year.
The treaty between Not-a-mala and No Way-aguay called for a re-match of the Fooseball Copa de Sudamericana final which ended in a nil-nil tie.
The 2FBFB2-1 & 2FBFB2-2 were eventually replaced with newer types on the eve of W.W. II and were soon forgotten, just like the Fooseball War. All that remains of those incredible aircraft today are two Never-Mo snap tite models that were available only at participating K-marts during the 1978 holiday season.
Brian da Basher
