Just in time for 2012 Fashion Week, Yoko Ono launched her new menswear line. Even though she spent generously on publicity and had a high-tech show, her fashions did not do as well as she'd hoped.
In fact, Yoko Ono's entree into
Haute Couture was a huge flop and practically bankrupted her. Desperate to raise some cash, she decided it was time to make a follow-up to the hugely-successful 1968 Beatles' animated film
Yellow Submarine. The best animators and CGI artists were hired and promotional posters looked promising.
Of course, it all begins with the Yellow Submarine itself. Yoko Ono felt a re-design was called for to make it a little more up-to-date.
Word was
Yellow Submarine - the Seaquel would feature current pop mega-stars in the main supporting roles.
The excitement was truly palpable on the night of the premier. Many advanced tickets were sold and crowds mobbed Grauman's Chinese Theatre. Yoko Ono was hoping the critics would love her "re-booting" of the Beatles' classic. Unfortunately, the press was not kind to the casting of Justin Bieber as the Chief Blue Meanie, Marilyn Manson as Old Fred and Usher as Jeremy Hilary Boob, Ph.D - Nowhere Man.
After the animated film was universally panned, not even getting a thumb's up from the
National Enquirer, Yoko Ono found herself in dire financial straits. However, while she was unable to live in the style to which she'd become accustomed, merchandising kept her from becoming completely destitute. While the Justin Bieber Chief Blue Meanie and Usher Jeremy Hilary Boob, Ph.D - Nowhere Man action figures did ok, the Marilyn Manson Old Fred doll was a complete dud. Luckily for Yoko, the
Yellow Submarine plastic model kit sold like hotcakes.
Unfortunately for Yoko, she wrote off models as "a silly hobby for losers" and only got .02% of the sales after taxes. She was forced to give up her spacious condo in the Dakota and move into the Y near the Brooklyn Navy Yard.
Yoko Ono was last seen feeding the pigeons in Battery Park and mumbling to herself that "no one understands my genius".
Brian da Basher