
The B-1 Lancer is one of the most notable and recognizable U.S. Air Force bombers.

Less well-known is an aircraft it inspired, the XYB-1.5 "Lightning Lancer".

It all started when NASA made recommendations to improve the B-1's high-speed performance and range.

Doing away with the complex "swing wing" of the original B-1 not only eased production, but the new, "Semi-Delta" wing allowed the aircraft to carry more fuel for increased range.

Powered by General Electric F-2001 Speed Odyssey engines of undisclosed thrust, the new aircraft was capable of reaching Mach 2.33 1/3, at least on paper. Impressed, the Air Force ordered a service-test batch right off the drawing board and thus the XYB-1.5 "Lightning Lancer" was born.

U.S. Air Force personnel are known for their wry wit and as the aircraft were delivered to the 40733rd Provisional Bomb Wing (Test), crews eschewed the official XYB-1.5 designation and called it the "Bone and a Half".

The timing of this test program couldn't have been better as war would soon break out again on the Korean peninsula.

In 1982 the founder of North Korea, Kim Il Sung, died suddenly.

He was succeeded by his son, Kim Jong-Il.

Not only was Kim Jong-Il a talented and ruthless despot, but he was also a cinephile with the desire to become a world-famous director. He stopped at nothing to achieve this twisted goal, even going so low as to kidnap Japanese film talent. However, Kim Jong-Il crossed a red line when he abducted one of Hollywood's top stars.

Ronald Reagan, leader of the Free World and former president of the Screen Actor's Guild was not about to let this stand.

After presenting a list of grievances against North Korea...

the U.S. President asked for and was granted a declaration of war against the Hermit Kingdom. The men and aircraft of the 40733rd Provisional Bomb Wing were soon alerted for a vital mission.

They were to make a surgical strike on North Korean command-and-control centers to coordinate with a Special Forces op to rescue the kidnapped cartoon character. As dawn broke on June 31st, ten "Bone a Halfs" took off, headed towards the enemy capitol at high speed.

The antiquated North Korean air defenses were helpless against those sleek, American bombers and soon chaos reigned in Pyongyang as all major command-and-control facilities were cratered.

U.S. Special Forces Extraction Team Donald was also successful and before anyone could quack about it, the famous duck was soon back on free soil. Fearing an invasion was imminent, the North Korean leader went deep into hiding.

However, no invasion ever came as diplomats from Scandinavia were able to calm things down using economic incentives.

While the war had ended quickly, there was no telling what diabolical plot the North Korean dictator would hatch next.

The "Bone and a Half" would never reach full service status as the prototype F-2001 Speed Odyssey engines consumed their own vitals after only a few months' flight time since cooling engine-pod bay doors would not open, leading to catastrophic failures.

The lack of "Bone and a Halfs" in the sky and the fact that their one and only combat mission was kept classified led to the type's eventual ignominy.

To this day, many so-called "experts" refuse to even acknowledge the existence of the XYB-1.5 "Bone and a Half" and think any such aircraft must be the ravings of someone that's all quacked up.

Brian da Basher